Ownership is acting through deep connection w/ Adrienne Garland

Are you acting with intentionality and deep connection? 

So often we talk about how we create experiences? How do we create an exposure for ideas? How do we bring what's in our mind to fruition? And the biggest thing that we often struggle with when we feel that burning desire inside of us that sometimes feels nagging, it feels like we're not living in our true calling. We're not living to what we've been put on this earth to do  or maybe we are actually living in it, but we haven't been able to tell the world about it. We have been able to show the world what's going on. And so today we wanted to bring on somebody who's done this really well and somebody who ultimately is living in that every single day. 

In today’s episode we have the pleasure of speaking with Adrienne Garland, she is a Women's Leadership & Entrepreneurship Expert,  Host of Sugar Coated Podcast. Join us today as Adrienne unpacks her journey of living with internationality and deep connection and how she is also doing it for others. 

#Ownit

The Power of Ownership Book: pre-order link https://thepowerofownershipbook.com/

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Own It

Success is different so own your different!

Transcript

0:45

This is the a show where we tell stories of how everyday people made ownership theirs to create extra ordinary success. Hey, everybody, welcome to the own show. I'm Justin. And Emily. Welcome to the show. And guys, I know so often we talk about how do we create experiences? How do we create a exposure for idea? How do we how do we bring what's in our mind to fruition? And the biggest thing that we often struggle with when we feel that burning desire inside of us that sometimes feels nagging, it feels like we're not living in our true calling. We're not living to what we've been put on this earth to do. And or maybe we are actually living in it, but we haven't been able to tell the world about it. We have been able to show the world what's going on. And so today we wanted to bring on somebody who's done this really well and somebody who ultimately is living in that every single day. And I cannot wait for you guys to listen to her story and how she's been able to ultimately do that for herself, but how she's also also doing that for others. So, Adrian, it's so great to have you on the show. Thank you for spending a little bit of time with us and our audience. Oh, I'm so excited to be here. Thank you so much for having me. Adrian. I love you. Just to kind of give a little bit of your back story. How did you become this expert in being able to tell stories not just your own, but other peoples and being able to lean into it in such a true and authentic way that allows people to come into the world of those people that can ultimately help them and get what they want. Yeah. So I guess my story is, I think traditional from the point of view that you know, I attended high school, went to college like we were told to do, and then I got a job in the world and I was always someone and still am somebody who shoots for more. Right. I'm I'm happy and grateful for where I am, but I always look toward sort of what's next. And so when I was working in corporate, you know, I was working in the world of finance. My major undergrad was in economics. And so I always had a really good math mind. It's just it's just kind of a gift that I have. And although I worked at it, it's something that just I see things and things just come easily to me from a math perspective, I'm also a very creative. So I like to say, because I'm Lieber, I really balance those two things out, but really sort of leaned into this whole math and economics because I also realized early on that what I wanted to do was sort of make a lot of money. My my plan, my, you know, take over the world plan was to make a lot of money and then sort of go back to school and, you know, be an artist or an interior designer or something like that. So I when I was in the world of finance and this is in the 1990s, okay? So when I was in the world of finance, you know, I was a woman working on Wall Street and I didn't see a lot of other women around me and those who I did see. I you know, I didn't know that I wanted to sort of, you know, be like them, for lack of a better word. And so I decided that I needed something else to set myself apart. And so I decided to go back and get my MBA. And I wanted to go to one of the top finance schools in New York. And I chose to go to NYU Stern School of Business. And again, in the nineties there was a lot of crap that was sort of happening on Wall Street, you know, The Wolf of Wall Street. And I didn't necessarily like the the the environment. It wasn't that I didn't like the people. I didn't like what the people did. I didn't like some of the things that I saw that was happening. And so I got out of the finance industry because I didn't like the environment. And it was really disappointing to me because I thought that that was sort of the best path to make a lot of money, you know, pay off all the school loans so that I could go do whatever, be creative. And it didn't work out like that. I switched my major at Stern to marketing and I didn't really know all that much or I thought I didn't know that much about marketing. But what I did realize that I learned is in when I was working in a small investment banking company and I used to review all the different business plans that that came into the office, people who are looking for bridge financing, angel investing, things like that. And so what I what I saw is a lot of entrepreneurs who were looking to take their business to the next level. And I always spoke just in on, you know, if it was a product, how are they taking this product to market? Who are they selling this to? What is the competition? And so I sort of did that without knowing that I was sort of practicing marketing. But when I really took a step back and thought, Well, what am I doing? I thought, I am doing marketing. And so I always had this advantage in marketing of really being able to understand numbers and finance and bring that to the sort of creative world of marketing, which at that time was very focused on, you know, print ads and mass media campaign ads and things like that, and was always more of a direct mail marketer when I got into my corporate role, which was, you know, very focused on marketing. I'd love to kind of dove into something that you said, because I'm sure as soon as I see this is going to resonate with a lot of our audience and I like to call it the and the then life versus the now life, because what you said was, I wanted to get go back to school and get that job so I could make money and then I could go do what set my heart on fire. Right. It was how many of us think, oh, I can be happy when I get married. I can be happy when I get this job. I can be happy when I can. I have three kids. I've signed this contract. I've got my next 200,000. I've made my first million. I've whatever. It's it's always and then and then and then. And the sad part about it is and I've been in these shoes is the moment you get that thing, you literally look up from it and you go, Is this it? Yeah. And the answer is most likely no. Exactly. Exactly. And so what I want to what I kind of want to ask you is with that reframing and with that new thought process of as you went through this and this was just your path, your direction, to ultimately find what that was. But as you were going through this, how did all of a sudden you leaning into this set your heart on fire in the direction that you have now ended up going? Yeah, you know, I think there's a there's a lot to be learned even from the past. You know, maybe I wanted to potentially do something after. But what I was able to sort of pick up along the way were a lot of skills, many relationships that are important and were important. So even though that path wasn't my path, I picked up what I needed from that path and I still use a lot of those skills today. So even though it wasn't ultimately what I wanted and, you know, you get out of college, who who knows what you want. I mean, I think that to put pressure like that on people that you have to choose is premature because we're not even mature as human beings when we graduate from college. And so that's why you do what your what you're told or what the prevailing wisdom is. And at that time, the path I followed was almost the prevailing wisdom. I think that today people that are coming out of college or sort of entering the work world realize that there are multiple paths to success. I'm jealous of the people that are coming into the work world or the professional aspect now, because entrepreneurship is, you know, it's hot. It was not hot when I first started out. So I just want to, you know, say that there were definitely things that that I learned along the way that I am using today. And before you keep going, you know, one of the things that I, our listener in our audience really connects with is what are some of those things that you learned along the way that you can share with them that potentially somebody is going through the same exact thing right down, do a certain decision because the world told them they needed to choose a major and they needed to choose a career by age 22, right? Yeah. So for somebody who's been in the industry for a little bit longer and gone to some of these things, what are what are one or two key things that you did that stuck with you that you want to give back to some of our listeners? Yeah. I mean, I think that when you work in a corporate and environment, you learn how to read the room, if you will. Right? You you learn to know who your audience is. I think a lot of the things that I picked up that your audience can also relate to is, you know, how do you work together in a team? How are you part of an organization? But thinking a little bit bigger than just yourself. So understand what's the company's mission, vision values? How does that play out in your day to day role? I also learned how to speak up for myself, not that that was always met with open arms, right? So that's why I say that you sort of learn to read the room and you start to understand wherever you are what's important in that particular situation. So I think you learn how to be a little bit less self centered and more corporate centered, not taken to an extreme right. If you become this corporate cog, you lose your identity. And I think that that's what happens to so many people. So it's sort of like you know, the lesson. But then taken to the extreme, that's where the negative part comes in. And, you know, you you learn about people. You also sort of learn that the corporate environment, it's a game. So there's a lot of these things that you learn that is not necessarily about, you know, how do I whatever it is, how do I create an income statement? How do I read financial documents? Yes, you learn those skills. But you you learn what's going on under the surface if you pay attention. Absolutely. You absolutely do. And I love that the statement that you're making, which is participating in something larger than yourself, right? Yeah. The idea of the day, what is that thing is greater than your self that you can dedicate your purpose, your passion to to ultimately achieve the end result of building. One of the things that Justin Berry talked about in our business all the time, in the type of culture which we try to create, is we have this big, hairy, audacious vision and all of these goals that we want to impact millions and millions of people. But when somebody comes on to you, we want to know specifically what makes them tick, because we know what makes them safe and what makes them happy and what drives their passion and how they connect with their purpose. If we can channel that to something that's really powerful, then that makes our community and our company and our vision that much greater. And it's the marriage of those two things. That individual with that higher vision, the larger community that create something really, really powerful. The uniqueness, the uniqueness to that. And going off, even what Adrian just said in terms of where she was going and having to like choose is we have to realize that we are exactly where we're supposed to be. Yeah, in this moment, we are exactly where we're supposed to be. You don't have to know where you're going. Five, six, seven, seven years down the road. So the decisions that we make, they don't always have to be the right decisions because there is really no right decision as long as we've made it with in alignment with what our purpose is, what our mission is, and what we're setting out to do. As long as we have clarity on what that is and we are in tune with ourselves, we make the best decisions that we can today. And as we make those decisions, your purpose and how you serve is ultimately going to change. And your desires are going to change as you grow as a human being, as you get exposed to new things and it goes right back to that example that you gave Adrian, was you had a big change and ultimately new vision and purpose of what you were supposed to do as you were making the decisions of, Hey, I want to go back to school. This is what feels right for me right now. I gained a bunch of knowledge and a bunch of information, and now I'm able to serve in a completely different way. And as I'm serving in a different way, I've now found what my true purpose and deeper calling is. Yeah. Or at least I found it. And, you know, it's like I'm at that point again in my life that I'm asking like, okay, is this really it? It's, you know, it's like you buy that new article of clothing and you love it. Or even if you love it for ten years, then you're like, you know what's going on? All shoddy. You know, I need to look for something else that kind of fits who I am a little bit better. And I'm even in that period right now. So I'm doing a lot of things that I love right now. I'm experimenting. New opportunities have come my way that I'm super excited about, and they have made me think like, Hmm, what if I lean into that bit of it a little bit more? You know, my my kids are now a little bit older, right? So I don't have to to sort of, you know, be around as much for them. You're always around them. But, you know, I don't have to be physically around for them as much. So I sort of have this new, you know, freedom of of time and the ability to think about myself a little bit more. And so I think that's the thing that's now shifting what it is that I want to do next. It's like chapters in a book. Yeah, I love that and I love that. That type of a mindset because you know, in our culture today and in our society today, it's you set out to do one day that's your career and it's fully up. Yeah, what you're talking about is really revolutionary. Justin and I have gone through it recently ourselves as well as well, where we both shared our previous identity. Right. Like as you said earlier, it becomes your identity. We've shed our identities as are you going through that now? Like what is next for me? So yeah, I'm curious how you cultivate a mindset to stay open minded around that amidst a society that stands for the exact opposite. Yeah, you know, I think for me and I what I love to talk about independent thinking, having an open mindset, a growth mindset, I do think that everything start with your mindset, it just being open to possibility is right like this just that's the place to start without any type of end goal. And it's hard to almost describe what that means. It's almost easier to to describe what it doesn't mean, right? So it doesn't mean always saying no. It doesn't mean if you're scared walking away from it, it means experimenting and being okay with knowing that there might not be any outcome. Or maybe it will work and maybe it won't. And if it doesn't, that's okay. Like, that's not a failure. And even if it is a failure to know that there's something that is beyond that. So, you know, I do think that having this open mind and reflecting often about am I, you know, am I happy, am I enjoying what I'm doing? Is this working for my life right now? I know that one of the decision points in my life was when I started working after college, and it was a couple jobs in and I got pregnant with with my son. Actually, I got pregnant like three months after I started at this new company. And I was really scared that because at that time there really was no guarantee that if you got pregnant that you would be kept like you might be able to, you might get laid off. And so I was really afraid to let anybody know that I was pregnant and, you know, they were they were great. And I had the baby. And so many people are like, are you going to quit your job? And I said, Not right now. Like, I feel so great and I have so much energy and like my baby's being taken care of by people that love him until it doesn't feel good anymore. I'm going to keep going. And I actually kept going all throughout, like until the kids were in middle school, in high school, and that's when it got really hard with taking care of kids. It went from physically taking care of them, which I'm not saying anybody could do. But, you know, it's like, are they fed? Are they taken to their sports? Are they cared for? Are they loved? Are they safe? And then it goes to you know, there's a lot of stuff happening emotionally. And that's when I felt that they needed me the most. And that happened to coincide with a time in my corporate career that I just didn't want to be spending as much time at the job as I had been. And so that's actually the point that I started my own business and it wasn't easy and it's still not. It's a very interesting and a lot of that point that you just made is you're only able to make those decisions because you're in tune with what's inside. You're only able to make that decision because you're connected to your self, but also to a higher calling for you. And I give you, I give you a lot of honor for that because oftentimes people said, Oh, when my kids get to eight years old, that's when I'm going to do this. And we go back to what we said. The and then life versus the now life, what am I being told? What am I being directed to do? What am I being instructed to do? And then how am I acting on it? Yeah, because oftentimes we're we're spoken to in corrections and instructions. Those are the two ways in which we're in, which we're in, which we're guided. And for me and for an and Elise and the way we express that's how God talks to us is through directions and or instructions and corrections. And a lot of us don't want to hear that. A lot of us just want to go on this stage five years from now. This is what happened. This is where we're going to go. But it just doesn't work that way now. And so the fact that you're open to that and the fact that you're kind of surrendered to that fact as well allows it to be on God's timing and not on yours. Yeah, that's. The key that needs to happen. That's the key that needs to ultimately be put into place. And listeners, if you're kind of leaning into that and going, Hey, what a what does that mean? How do we do that? It comes back to being able to be so tapped into that level of connection and that level of being able to give up control and live in the moment and be able to listen to what's happening, that that's when things start to go your way. Yeah. And I think that there's times it's like a radio, right, where like that signal is clear. And then there's other times that it's really staticky. But you hear something there and you know, listen, I might be tapped in or tuned in, but sometimes I do not listen because I don't I it feels like it doesn't seem logical. It doesn't seem right. Like, why? Why would I? And then sometimes it gets to a breaking point where there's something almost really negative that happens that says like, okay, like, I have to scream at you, like, get out. Yes, yes. I do tell you gently now that it's. In your face and now you have to take this threat. Yeah, you can ignore it. Yeah, but. But I think that's part of the journey too. And that is something that I'm learning more and more. I guess you're always learning are always on a journey like I'm learning to listen to myself more because when you say, you know, I should've listened to myself, how many times are you going to say, I should've listened to myself? Like just as an experiment, listen to yourself and see what happens. I It's funny, I like this type of an approach. Like my kids do something, my husband does something, and he's like, Oh, I'm sorry. You know, I shouldn't have done that. I'm like, I don't I don't want your sorry, just don't do that again. Like, I don't want the apology. Just like, stop, you know, and they don't get it because, you know, sometimes men take a little while to get it, but I have to. Same thing to get my. High five for all the men out there. Adrian, that's great. It's it's such a great message to be able to lean in and tap back into, like, your core being understanding what's what's going on. And again, like even that gut feel that we talk about, like listening to yourself there, God whispers, there are things that are there that are being put there for a reason and we've got to be able to tap into that. We've got to be able to be obedient to that in order to ultimately realize the the potential that we have within us. And yeah, and it's such a key point to to really lean on. I love to hear from you, somebody who's like really gone through this and obviously live this life. This continued to have a lot of these moments that you've learned across the way. What is the definition of ownership for you? Yeah, I mean, I think it's almost like the responsibility of it. All right. So when you when you own something, you take care of it. It's cared for and it's important to you. So whether you're talking about ownership over your decisions or ownership of your ideas, I think it's something that you need to treat really gently and that you need to also be confident in. And I know that that seems a little nebulous. I'm trying to think like, you know, when you when you own your car, right. I'm just using an object when you own your car, that there's a level of care that's different than if you lease your car. Right. If you own your own home, there's a little bit of a different level of care versus when you rent. So it's the same way, I would think, when it comes to your decisions, right? If you abdicate that responsibility of making decisions over to someone else, even though it's a decision and you're sticking to it, if it was your decision, you kind of own not a little bit deeper. Absolutely. It sounds like internship. If you get one one level over there, it's almost like ownership of intentionality. Yes. I love that word that's been coming up a lot for me lately, actually, in conversations with people is being intentional thinking, right. Being, you know, it's mindful and intentional with owning your car or owning or your house or leasing and renting it. There's a level of intentionality there that goes into it versus the people. Yeah. And cultivation to keep it looking good. Feeling good. You know I guess same thing with owning your health, owning your wealth. All of these things. There's a level of care that is very deep and personal. And so that's kind of what I think of when I think of ownership, not so much ownership over or something, right? Like it's my my mine. Yeah. D.S. It's the deep connection. Yeah. I love it. I love it for any of our audience members who are like have hit home. And it's like, you know what? I want to I want to start leading into something else. I want to figure out how to take my idea or this this little God whisper that's pushing inside of me that I need to take a step forward to something. How can they get in touch with you? How can they reach out to you? How can they learn more about you and what you can do to potentially help them realize that? Thank you. Yeah. I mean, you can go to my website. It's she leads media dot com you can email me at Adrian you got to spell that right Adriana as she leads me to a dot com and and I'm on social media I'm on LinkedIn. I like LinkedIn a lot, especially for professional conversations. But one of the things that I thought you were going to say is like, how can people kind of lean into that? What's next is, I think, like taste, right experiment. You don't need to go all in, even if even if you feel really confident about the decision that you're making. Test like take take the approach that when people launch software that that they that they take put something out there, see what happens experiment no expectations and get get feedback see if it feels right. Feedback from others, feedback from yourself, a person. And it's almost like you're, you're beta testing certain things and yeah the person that really talks about this, I think that does it the best with exactly what you just talked about it, doing it responsibly. Yes. Gary Vaynerchuk. Yes, talks about it all the time is yeah. Literally don't quit your day job and just go and start taking on entrepreneurship because you might get there. And the reason you wanted to go into entrepreneurship is truly not out of service, but rather that you think it feels cool. It's something earthly, it's something external that you're looking for, that when things get hard, you're going to just give up on it. And so you don't do it irresponsibly, but rather lean in a little bit, dip your toe in, taste it, see it, understand what you're getting into. Test the market beta test and it in that way and you're going to find out what you really do love and what you really don't. As it'll start, you'll start to get even more of these whispers and even more of these signs that you'll be able to lean into in a powerful way. Yeah, I love that. Yeah, I like Gary Vaynerchuk a lot more these days. There was a period there that I didn't really like him and his message has changed and I really appreciate him now. Yeah, there's there's been a lot of people that have kind of led in that direction and helped to really create safe spaces for people to go and get some quality information that that they can apply really practically into their lives. Yeah. So audience as you guys go forward as you lean in, I want to challenge you to ask yourself, am I living that? And then like, am I living the end then life? Because it's a place that we often find what I like to call in my life was my ultimate failure was finding success with that was fulfillment. Because we say, once I get here, I'll feel this. Once I get here, I'll feel this. And guess what? This cycle never stops. And so if we find ourselves in that space, I want to ask yourself to start to listen to the little whispers that are being put out there. Challenge yourself, am living on purpose. Am I living with what my what my calling has been to be? Am I doing what I enjoy? Am I doing what I'm good at? Am I doing what I have been gifted with and realize that there is no right decision? There's only a right decision based on the context that you have today. There is only a decision that you have been led to because you are living in accordance to those little whispers that you have. And as Gary would say, you have a lot of time. You can reinvent yourself at 25, you can reinvent yourself at 52, you can reinvent yourself at 97. There is no moment that it's not okay to do that, because guess what? We are all on a journey. We are all in this unique space together. And when you can get deeply connected to something and live really intentionally, that's when we find that true success because we know success is different. So own your different and we'll see you next week.